I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize