dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Green mimosas i think yes
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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