Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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