Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
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Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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