That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
