But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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