That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
