Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know