Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind