I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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