Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
