also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
