My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
