She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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