What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
