I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
