I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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