i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize