Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
