They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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