So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
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Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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