ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The best revenge is premature balding
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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