Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
