speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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