I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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