what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
