You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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