can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
