I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
