My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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