we have officially lost it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize