i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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