Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
