Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
