The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
