watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
