It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
