I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
