So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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