My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
