He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
nutella sex= disaster
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
