Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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