do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
