Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
