According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
