Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's always time for handjobs
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
