I'm so fucking centered right now
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
