Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
