I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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