We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
