I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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