dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
