The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Of course I have a pirate flag
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
