But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
