Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
