I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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