I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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